Old Acquaintances

Last Thursday night, we had the annual Festival at church and I took Smoltzie and went down to hang out, eat a little something, and see friends. The best part of the night was that I ran into my college friend, Judy. Judy and I sat beside each other in our first college class at USCS and were friends from that day on. We were both Elementary Education majors and had most of our classes together. We went to lunch together most days, including every Friday at the buffet at Quincy's, where we had the same waitress every week. (Now USCS is USC Upstate and Quincy's is The Junction. Time certainly changes everything.)

After we graduated, Judy and I were in each other's weddings. (Hers took, mine didn't.) I'm so terrible at keeping in touch with old friends. I literally had not seen Judy since her wedding a few months after college graduation. It was so great to see her again, and I got her phone number. I promised myself I'm going to get better at keeping in touch with people, so I'm hoping we can go to lunch together or something one day and catch up.

A lot has happened in my life since the last time I saw her. I've been through a divorce, gotten a second college degree, hopped to different jobs until I started working at the TV station six years ago. I've lived in five different cities in two states. I asked her if she was still teaching and she's at the same school she started working in when we graduated and is still living in the same town. She's still married and has three children now. I guess I see in her what I thought my life would be like right now. Sometimes when I do touch base with people I went to college or high school with who have the marriage, family and sometimes career, too, I take a moment for self-reflection and, too often, see my own deficiencies.

In a fit of self-pity one day, I once told someone that if I die, I leave nothing behind. There's no legacy of children or some great earth-changing work that I've done. I think the hardest thing for me when I turned 30 awhile back was just knowing that there was so much I wanted to accomplish by then that I hadn't.

Don't worry. My blog isn't all gloom and despair. Because I know there's a reason for everything that has happened in my life and for the place that God has brought me to at this point in time. If I'd had the life I thought I would, I probably wouldn't be as thankful for His blessings. I know I'm a lot stronger and wiser now than I was as a fresh-faced recent college graduate. Perhaps a little more cynical, too, but still a dreamer. And I know God has great things for me to do. There's a pretty good chance that the marriage, the children and the stability is still out there for me to find. And because of what I've been through to get it, I'll be much more grateful for it, I'll be better able to handle the rigors and trials that go along with it, and I'll know that it all happened in God's perfect timing.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time..." (Ecclesiastes 3:11a)

Charm is Deceptive...

As I told you all in my last blog, I'm taking an online class. There are, of course, several other current and former teachers taking the same class. I don't think I'm all that popular in my class. See, we have a discussion board where not only is it recommended, but required that we participate. A large chunk of our grade is based on the information we post on the board and the "thoughtful" responses we give to other people who post. I don't get a lot of responses to my posts. It's not a huge deal, but usually just the teacher responds. I try to make myself feel better by saying that maybe my deep inflections are just over their heads, but more likely, they are under their feet. I mean, these women know something about education and teaching!

Anyway, I remember when I was pretty popular. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, because a lot of it was because I was so involved in school growing up. If there was an activity, I wanted to be involved. I was in chorus and drama, played basketball and volleyball, was a cheerleader, was on yearbook staff. My junior year I was president of my class and was voted homecoming queen my senior year. I went to a small school, so it was easy to know everybody, and I tried to be friends with everyone. I befriended the popular kids and the not-so-popular kids, the jocks and the nerds. I guess I would have made a good politician.

Back then, I probably thought that popularity really mattered. I see the kinds of things that happen among young people today - like bullying and peer pressure - and I want to scream to those kids that it doesn't matter how popular you are. Ten years from now, nobody will care if you were given a superlative in the yearbook or you won prom queen. What matters is keeping your standards and morals in the face of pressure and treating people the way you want to be treated. What matters is being a positive example, studying hard, and serving others. If all you care about is being popular, being liked, or putting others down to make yourself feel better, all you'll have when you get older are regrets and burned bridges. If you do the right thing, regardless of what anybody else thinks, you'll never have to live with those regrets.

I think that's a good lesson for us adults, too. Did all the popularity, athleticism, and priming for position in school really do us any good in the long run? Not really. So why does position or popularity matter now? Why are we so hesitant to stand up for what's right now? Young people haven't learned these things yet, but we have. So what's our excuse?

For the record, it's okay that I'm not the most popular person in my class. That's not my reason for being in it. But I don't want to compromise what I know to be true in any setting just for acceptance. I don't ever want fear of rejection or unpopularity to stop me from doing what's right, standing for what I believe in, and telling everyone I know about a Savior Who loves us...and Who also never cared about being popular.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:30

A New Challenge

I realized last night when I was lamenting the work involved in an online class I'm taking that I hadn't talked about my new endeavor on my blog. As you may or may not know, I used to be a teacher. My first teaching job out of college was in middle school and was a harrowing experience. (I'm exaggerating only slightly.) I came in a few weeks into the school year and taught classes that were formed from pulling students from other classes. Thus, I ended up teaching five different classes on all three grade levels in four different subject areas. I didn't have my own classroom and had to "float" all day. And I shared a hole-in-the-wall office with two other teachers. Needless to say, it wasn't a very positive experience for a first-year teacher, age 22, who looked more like one of the students than like any of the teachers.

To make matters worse, because the school allowed the students to choose to pull out of their other classes to be in mine, I ended up with quite a few who were only in there because they got in trouble with their other teachers. Consequently, I had severe behavior problems, which included my being threatened bodily harm and confiscating an illegal substance in the classroom - you can guess what it was. And that was just in sixth grade.

After all that, I decided to go back to school to obtain my communications degree and go into journalism. I took a part-time job in an alternative school, which oddly enough was easier than the middle school (in spite of the fact that I had to break up a couple of fights), and went back to school full-time for a year to get my second degree.

After jumping around to a few different jobs, I ended up working in television a little over six years ago. It's been a good, steady job with growth potential, but as with a lot of industries these days, there have been layoffs and budget cuts and I've been thinking about how I could protect myself against unemployment. I've thought about getting a real estate license or a paralegal certificate, or trying to start a part-time home-based business. Then my Sunday School class, for the second year in a row, did a school project at Arcadia Elementary School. I listened as the principal told about all the outreach projects the school is involved in to help students and their families. I thought to myself how great it would be to be a part of something like that.

Then the light bulb went off...

The answer to my dilemma was right there in front of me. Now, I will admit that at one time, I said I would work at McDonald's before I would go back to teaching. (Not that there's anything wrong with working at McDonald's, mind you.) But the experience wakened something inside me and made me realize that if I was looking for something rewarding - and to fortify myself vocationally at the same time - the answer was staring me in the face. I know that I've matured enough to appreciate the opportunity to impact children's lives and had enough life experience to deal better with the adversity that sometimes comes with such a great responsibility.

So now I'm taking classes to renew my teaching certificate, which has been expired for more than six years. It's a challenge because I haven't taken a class in a very long time (unless you count the cake decorating class at Michael's...which I don't), I've never taken an online class, and it's been a very long time since I put together a lesson plan. I'm not sure where this will take me, but it's what I believe is in God's will for me to do and we'll just see what He does with it. By the way, any advice from current or former teachers is welcome. And prayers are definitely appreciated. It's going to be an adventure. But adventures are fun, right?

Disappointment

Just because things don't turn out the way you hoped they would, doesn't mean they can't still be wonderful.

For some reason, those words have been echoing in my head today. I don't know if I heard them in a movie or read them somewhere, but they are true. They are an excellent reminder that sometimes the plans God has for us are better than our own.

I've been reading this week from I Samuel as I prepare to teach Sunday School this Sunday. I Samuel 16 tells about how Samuel reacted after King Saul was disobedient and God rejected him as king. Samuel was devastated. In fact, he never went to see Saul again after that incident. But God asked him how long he was going to mourn for Saul. He told him to get up and go find the next king God had picked out.

I know that feeling. I know how it is when you thought everything was as it should be. When you thought your life was all planned out and you would live happily ever after. Don't you think Samuel felt that way? Israel wanted a king and he found one. After a lot of coaxing, Samuel convinced him to take his throne. Everything's hunky dorey, right? But now Samuel was back to the drawing board, back at square one. He just holed himself up in his house and mourned.

Have you felt that way before? Do you feel that way now? Where you just wanted to shut yourself off from the world and wallow in self-pity because things didn't turn out the way you thought or hoped they would? I know I have.

I'm reminded of God's words to His people when they were in exile in Babylon. (Talk about things not turning out the way you hoped!) He told them to carry on with their lives, to make the best of the situation they were in because better days were ahead. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

In other words, just because things don't turn out the way you hoped, doesn't mean they can't still be wonderful.

(I want to thank the folks at www.SparkleCityBlogs.com and www.SpartanburgSpark.com for covering my blog on their websites!)